Remembering Mom...

I miss you mom. I miss my daily telephonic conversations with you. I miss your ever cheerful voice. I miss your encouraging words. I miss your hugs. I miss your criticism. I miss your physical presence. I miss your prayers for our well being... But you are alive in my memories, heart and mind. A year has gone, but it seems yesterday I bid you farewell! I love you mom.

Having lost my dad very early taught me my first lesson in interpersonal communication. As a kid, I was in awe of my dad. Though we were close, I still maintained a distance, spoke little out of respect and sometimes out of fear. We were taught to speak carefully to elders, no back answers, no tantrums, etc. In the process, there were some positive aspects, like my creative side, my feelings for him, my thoughts that went unsaid. I still regret having not shared my feelings with dad.

Since then, I have given a lot of importance to sharing my positive thoughts , experiences and feelings with family, relatives and friends. I value communication, networking and connecting which I think, makes us more human.

As a Psychologist and Counsellor, I have encountered kids who find it frustrating having parents who are uncommunicative and overly occupied with their work life; kids who actually have no clue of their parent's work profile. One instance I remember vividly , the frustrating face of a student who went to attend the visa interview at the US Consulate and was rejected visa as he stood dumb, when asked about his dad's work profile. It was because he had no clue about what his dad actually did at the work place. And the student felt remorseful and angry about his dad for being aloof and non communicative.

There are instances where kids complain of parents who hardly spend any time with them, in the name of heavy work load and often are subject to the standard speech, "I am doing all this for you, your comfort etc". Most of the kids loathe it. Some kids find it convenient having a parent, specifically dad, away from home as long as their materialistic needs are fulfilled. They don't want to be policed. It is really a sad situation.

I am glad, my dad exposed me to his work environment. He was a mining engineer at Hutti Gold Mines in Karnataka State. He always encouraged learning. I spent fourteen years at this small and cozy place, since my birth. Hutti and my childhood memories of the place, have a special significance in my life. Those wonderful memories and people have resurfaced in recent times. I credit the Internet and social media networking sites for this.

I am an avid blogger and active on Facebook. My write-up about my mom on this blog, surprisingly, had friends who knew my parents and were not in touch for years, messaging me here and conveying wonderful things about them, which I did not know or instances that had just faded away from my memory. It is indeed a feel good factor!

Facebook has got me in touch with my childhood friends and people from our Hutti days. The old photographs posted on Facebook, transports you back to those golden days. Again, these are people who knew my parents and remembered such minute details about them. One of them described how pretty my mom looked when she first arrived in Hutti as a bride and also the colour of saree she wore for the wedding reception at the Hutti officers' Club. This event took place in 1969, 40 years ago! These are emotional and mind blowing moments for me. I feel blessed for having such wonderful parents. They were karmayogis in the true sense. They lived short but meaningful lives.

Don't shy away from sharing your feelings, experiences, achievements, concerns and thoughts from your loved ones. Let's share good things about our lives and keep in touch!

What does SUCCESS mean to you?

I am always baffled when I think about SUCCESS. When I introspect and ask myself, "Am I successful ?"; I find it hard to describe! Because "being successful" is dynamic and situational.

Success can mean different things to different people. I may have name and fame, but no money; I may have name, fame, a fantastic career and money but no good health or personal life; I may have money, great friends and family, but no time to spend with them; I may have none of those mentioned, but I am peaceful.

Presently, I am having a great time at work. But I am suffering a lousy back ache, which is killing me. I am terrified about it and worried. I feel there is nothing like having a fit body and peaceful mind. I crave for it. The day I find them both, should be "Success" for me.

Finishing my morning household chores, seeing my kid off to school on time and reaching office at 10.am is "mission accomplished". And getting back home without getting stuck in traffic is "heaven". The routine stuff gives me a feeling of success for that moment.

So again, when I ask myself, Am I successful?...I really don't know.

I request my readers to enlighten me, by telling me "what success means to you". Please folks, be good and answer...see ya.

Innate Talent to the Rescue

Innate talent is phenomenal. It can ooze, erupt and explode in any form or shape at any time and place. I experienced it at the strike of midnight on last Sunday, the 16th of September, 2007.

We had a hectic day on Saturday, with the Ganesh Puja and followed by a hectic Sunday with some social activities. We went out with friends on Sunday evening and came back home by about 10.30 pm. And at 11.00 pm, my daughter remembers that she has some EVS project work to complete, which was their weekend homework. I always believe that the project work is home work for parents. We had to find pictures on the theme NEIGHBOURHOOD and paste them in the classwork note book. I pulled out my stack of magazines and rummaged through the pages and clipped some relevant pictures and completed my home work. I was pretty pleased with my late night endeavour and forced a THANK YOU out of my daughter and put her to bed and did the same to myself. It was around 11.45 pm.

I was settling in, to catch up my precious sleep, I felt my daughter tapping my arm. I get annoyed and clench my teeth and ask her,what now? She remembers that she has been selected to participate in a HINDI POETRY RECITATION COMPETITION the next day. I tell her to recite a poem from her text book and she says it is already selected by another classmate. I say, so what, you too can recite the same one. And as I am speaking to her, I am also trying to recall if I know something small and easy for her to learn, but I can't think of anything. I can see tears coming out of her eyes, signs of emotional blackmail. I succumb to it and tell her to just shut up and wait for me to think. And behold! the clock struck twelve and I mumble some rhyming Hindi words as they tumble from my mouth. My daughter is delighted and I am elated, amused and shocked at the same time. She asks me how did I do it and I say "Thank Lord Ganesha", he did it.

I realize, I have composed a short and sweet poem for my child, which she perfects in less than five minutes. She tells me the poem is very cute and that she has recited it with confidence at the competition. The results are still awaited!

रेलगाडी

चुक् चुक् , चुक् चुक् ,
चुक् चुक्, चुक् चुक् ,
आती है रेल गाडी ।

चुक् चुक् , चुक् चुक् ,
चुक् चुक्, चुक् चुक् ,
आती है रेलगाड़ी ।

ले जाती है गाऊँ गाऊँ
ले जाती है शेहर शेहर
हम बच्चों का मन
बहलाती है रेल गाडी ।

चुक् चुक् , चुक् चुक् ,
चुक् चुक् , चुक् चुक् ,
आती है रेल गाडी ।

चुक् चुक् , चुक् चुक् ,
चुक् चुक्, चुक् चुक् ,
जाती है रेल गाडी ।

Teachers' Day

As a gesture of respect to the great statesman, teacher, philosopher and a human being, Dr. Sarvapalli Radhakrisnan's birthday is celebrated as "Teachers' Day" in India. September 5th of every year is a treat day for the teachers in most of the schools here. It is also a day when every teacher needs to reckon their importance, impact and influence they have on their students. A teacher comes next to parents in every student's life. Especially for children, their teacher means the world to them. When a teacher tells something, it is the last, the best and the defining word "Brahma Vakya".

Guru Brahma
Gurur brahmaa gurur vishnuh
gurur devo maheshvarah
gurur saakshaat parabrahma
tasmai shree gurave namah.

Know the Guru to be Brahma himself. He is Vishnu. He is also Shiva. Know Him to be the Supreme Brahman, and offer thy adorations unto that peerless Guru.

A good teacher respects, understands, empathizes and encourages his/her student. And a student in turn trusts, emulates and hero worships the teacher. I remember one of my teachers' with great affection; Mrs. Helena Brown. She was my teacher in Kindergarten at St. Ann's High School, The Hutti Gold Mines, Karnataka. ( I am sure my childhood friends Balakrishna Sarvanan and Bharath remember her too) It was some kind of a good fortune for us students, that she graduated with us till the 3rd grade. I remember telling my parents every year that Brown teacher had also passed the class with us. I owe my foundation in the English language and good hand writing skills to her. I can vividly remember her beautiful handwriting on the black board. She always maintained great dignity and poise. She was strict but also very affectionate. This teachers' day, I warmly remember her and dedicate my sincere gratitude to Mrs. Brown. Wherever she is " God Bless Her" and a big Thank You Teacher.

Hyderabad Blasts

Hyderabad is in the news for wrong reasons; the tragedy that followed the twin bomb blasts at Lumbini Park and Gokul Chat on Saturday evening, August 25, 2007.

Lumbini Park is located on the banks of Hussain Sagar on the Tank Bund Road which connects Hyderabad to Secunderabad. My office is located very close to the park and I pass the Tank Bund everyday to reach home. I left office by auto on Saturday at around 6.00 pm after the rain stopped. The traffic on Tank Bund Road was chaotic, but due to the heavy rains, there were very few weekend revellers on the Bund which is a popular spot as it overlooks the Hussain Sagar lake. I was eager to reach home soon, as my daughter wanted me to pick a cake for her grandfather who celebrated his 75th Birthday on Saturday. She wanted it to be a surprise. Finally after a tedious ride home, followed by the impromptu party, my husband received a call at 8.00 pm from an acquaintance in Nagpur, inquiring about the bomb blasts. We switched on the television and were shocked to see the gory scenes being aired. The bombs had exploded at 7.30pm and 7.45 pm at Lumbini Park and Gokul Chat, respectively. I went numb for a while, wondering,it could have been any one of us. We received umpteen calls from relatives and friends living in other cities to inquire about our safety.

Lumbini Park is a tourist place and only last month we took our outstation guests who were visiting us, to NTR Park, another popular place which is located closely to Lumbini Park. Lumbini Park has a laser show which draws a lot of people especially the tourists. Fortunately, due to heavy rains on Friday and Saturday, the place was not crowded.

Gokul Chat, another very popular eating joint hounded by youngsters was the next target. The maximum number of casualties took place here, and more or less all were youngsters. Gokul chat located on the busy Koti road has close proximity to many educational institutions, to name the well known ones, Osmania Medical College and Women's College. It is also a shopping hub which is crowded all times of the day and evenings are jam packed with not an inch to breathe. My brother Nagaraj always joked about shopping at Koti, saying that we need not put any effort to walk as we automatically get pushed around by the crowd. There is no Hyderabadi, especially the youngsters, who would not have tasted the mirchi bajjis and chat at this eatery. I remember during my college days, my brothers told me about Gokul Chat. But I frequented it less, because my tummy couldn't take the Gokul Chat delicacies lightly.

Hindus, Muslims and Christians have lost their lives. My heart and prayers goes out to the parents and families who lost their loved ones due to the heinous acts of some cowards. But I am proud of the fact that Hyderabad is facing this tragedy with a lot of dignity. There have been no untoward incidents, except for a few foolish people pelting stones at buses and the BJP Bandh on 27th August 2007, Monday. I am unable to comprehend the purpose of observing this bandh by forcibly pulling down the shutters of schools, shops and other establishments. I wish ,the so called "Saviours" could divert their energies and time to genuinely help the victims and their families.

Who are these terrorists? Are they human beings? Do they have a religion? Do they have parents, siblings and children? Who are they?

I...Me...My Accomplishments

An attempt to feel good about MYSELF!

I always found it very difficult to talk about my accomplishments and talents. I am sure many of you also feel the same. I attribute it to our Indian culture "SAMSKARA" which teaches us not to boast about ourselves. In typical local lingo "SELF DABBA" is not appreciated.

I assume, that most of us want others to talk about our accomplishments. It is music to our ears. but when a person talks about himself/herself , it is noise, isn't it? And we do not appreciate "that behaviour".

Of course, some people overdo it; that makes it very irritable and painful for the listener. We usually refer to them as MAHA SUTTI (Big Hammer). Anyway I leave this topic for some other day.

Since childhood most of us were taught by our parents not to comment or voice opinions when elders were talking or words like "I did this or that" connoted self centered character. But as I grew up and faced the real life challenges in this big, bad and competitive world, I experienced some conflicting emotions with regard to "Speaking about MYSELF", and words like" Is it O.K to do so?", lingered in my mind.

Encountering day to day experiences, some challenging and some drab, I gradually realized the importance of "speaking about one's self", its powerful impact, especially in the world of work.



Being a psychologist and also having been an educational adviser on foreign education, I have the opportunity to interact with people from different countries, namely the Americans, Australians, Canadians and last but not the least, our own Indians here and NRI s settled abroad. The important lessons I learned during my interactions were, that "if you won't talk about yourself, then nobody will". You have to learn to market yourself, to be heard and for your existence to be acknowledged in your field of work. But to do so, you also need to be well acquainted with your subject or area of expertise. And above all, good networking with professionals, right contacts and being in the right place at the right time, matters a lot in one's so called " Success". It also depends on "What Success means to you?". "Is it Money, Fame, Recognition, Job Satisfaction or anything else?

Each one of us have some hidden talent or the other in us which needs to be tapped, and brought to the fore front.

At different stages in my life, I developed fascination for varied and at times weird things (Hobbies). It ranged from collecting coins, stamps, match boxes, marbles, shells, pebbles, mineral deposits; posters of film stars, cricketers, Tennis players; writing to film stars for their autographed snaps; participating in slogan contests (won 50 packets of CHICKLETS, a set of MONTEX pens, a LIRIL T-Shirt ) making greeting cards; collecting and reading books (had a collection of over 200 MILLS & BOONS ) writing some not-so-successful poems and short stories; painting and drawing cartoons. Phew! a long list indeed.
It was a delightful phase wherein I had good fun. And later, a herculean task disposing all the collected stuff and a heartbreak losing my coins collection and silver souvenirs of different countries, during a major theft in my house (March 2005). This episode, to some extent has made me detached to materialistic things.

I am sharing my experience to convey that our innate talents can be used productively with a little added effort and patience. When I started my career as an educational Counsellor in the year 1993, the concept was very new. It was really tough to keep going and not to change my line of profession. I thank my family for their encouragement. And when I decided to be on my own, I received support from my husband and Mr. A.K. Dasgupta (well known and highly respected librarian in India) and Mr. K.J.Rao ( Statistician and computer specialist); both retired professionals, eager to do their bit for our society's youngsters. We started the advising centre called Educational and Career Information Resource Centre (EdCIRC) in the year 2001. We published a book "Where to go from here?"- A comprehensive guide on educational and career opportunities in India; the first edition was sold out in no time. I am keen to publish the second edition, but lack of funds is a big hurdle, as of now. I received requests from the well known newspaper publications (Deccan Chronicle and The Times of India, Hyderabad Edition) to contribute articles on Careers, Educational counselling, and US education. Therefore my unsuccessful attempts as a kid, to publish short stories in "TINKLE" did not go waste.

I continue to dabble in colours to make bright and lively posters of cartoon characters for my daughter , nieces and my little friends. It is a great stress reliever. My creative talents have been put to very good use for my daughter's school projects , fancy dress competitions, decorations for birthdays and festivals.

Hey, do share your talents with me. Be a sport and talk about "Yourselves"!

A Tribute to Indian Soldiers

I salute the Soldiers of Indian Defence Services -

The Army, Air force, and the Navy.

I was one of those civilians who looked at the armed forces as a glamorous profession; full of adventure, handsome officers, parties and postings all over India.

But my imagination went for a toss, once, the youngest of my two brothers, Ravi joined the Armed Forces Medical College, Pune to pursue Medicine.

The anecdotes he narrated about his hostel life, first shocked me and later stirred the process of eliminating my rose tinted glasses. I began to view our soldiers in a different light, with respect and dignity for the tough lives they led with discipline and endurance.

My brother graduated from AFMC, and we, his proud family attended the passing out parade at Pune in March 1999. He was commissioned into the Armed Forces and he became Lt. H Ravi Ramamurthy.

His first posting was at Ladakh, a region in the state of Jammu & Kashmir in Northern India which is surrounded by two of the world's mightiest mountain ranges, the Great Himalaya and the Karakoram. Ladakh lies at altitudes ranging from about 9,000 feet (2750m) at Kargil to 25,170 feet (7,672m) at Saser Kangri in the Karakoram. Ladakh is the only place possibly in the world where a man sitting in the sun with his feet in the shade suffer from sunstroke and frostbite at the same time! The largest town in Ladakh is Leh. Ladakh is prominent for its remote mountain beauty and Buddhist culture.

During Ravi's tenure at Ladakh, he was posted at Siachen, the world's largest non-polar glacier, sometimes referred to as the third pole. The Siachen Glacier has no significant strategic value. Since 1984, the "snow-warriors" of India and Pakistan have been locked in supremacy for the control of Siachen glacier. Its inhospitable terrain has taken heavy toll of men and resources on both sides. The world's highest battlefield, for over a decade India and Pakistan have fought at altitudes of over 22,000 feet in minus 60ºC temperatures. It is 78 km long and situated at an altitude of 5,400 meters above sea level. The Siachen glacier is the great Himalayan watershed that demarcates central Asia from the Indian sub-continent, and that separates Pakistan from China in this region.

Operation Meghdoot [named after the divine cloud messenger in a Sanskrit play] was launched on 13, April 1984 when the Indian Army and the Indian Air Force went into the Glacier. Pakistan quickly responded with troop deployments. The Pakistanis can resupply most of their posts by road and pack mule. Indians, at their forward positions, some as high as 21,000 feet, must rely on helicopters. Casualties on both sides have been mostly due to extreme weather conditions.

Ravi had many interesting anecdotes to narrate about his stay at Siachen. To briefly recount a few, Tomatoes as hard as cricket balls and Bottle Gourd (Lauki) as hard as cricket bat, and their game of cricket; A bottle of PEPSI heated to make it drinkable; Huge rats scrawling all over when asleep; heating up a bucket full of ice before going to the toilet, Enemy troops firing and many more. He also had a very difficult time acclimatizing when he visited home on his annual vacation. We were actually petrified seeing his plight.

Capt. H. Ravi Ramamurthy's next posting was at Bikaner, Rajasthan. Well, imagine moving from an extreme cold environment to an extreme hot one. But he had a good stay, especially serving the local populace as part of Indian Army's contribution to local civilians. He received an appreciation letter from the Government of Rajasthan, highly praising his contribution to its people. I felt very proud of my brother when I read it.

Ravi, now is Major. H. Ravi Ramamurthy, presently posted at the Army Command Hospital, Pune, where he is on the verge of completing his Post Graduate Studies in Paediatrics. I refer to him as an Officer, Paediatrician and a Gentleman.

Thank you Ravi for facilitating my focus on the realistic aspects of a soldier's life. A soldier has to be mentally and physically strong and disciplined to sustain any harsh conditions, maintain sanity despite being away from loved ones and protect our country from enemies. It certainly is a high pressure job which requires the highest level of motivation. A standing ovation to the defence services whose contribution to our motherland during war and peaceful times is unparalleled .

Jai Jawan !

Information on Siachen & Ladakh Courtesy: Wikipedia & other sources

Hyderabadi Spitters – Can you beat them?

I am a Hyderabadi and proud to be one!

I love Hyderabad, which is aptly called the city of Nizams…Pearls…Information Technology. I cannot dream of living anywhere else in the world, despite the heat and dust; water and electricity problems. It is one such city where the poorest of poor can survive and the richest of the rich can splurge their money on anything exotic; reminiscent of the name Bhagyanagar, the earlier name of Hyderabad.

It is a historical city, famous for Charminar, Golconda, Hussain Sagar Lake, and Salarjung Museum, Qutub Shahi Tombs, Falukhnuma Palace and many more historical splendors. The modern city of Hyderabad is famous for its Hi-tech city, which houses the major IT Companies; Birla mandir, Ramoji Film City, NTR Park, Snow World and countless shopping malls and IMAX Theaters.

The people of Hyderabad are famous for their hospitality and welcome strangers into their homes. Every acquaintance is a friend. But do not expect us to know our neighbour’s house address (i.e. because they are numbered in an erratic manner by the municipal authorities). We always maintain the “Hyderabadi Standard Time” whenever and wherever we go, which is always at least an hour late. So if you actually want your invitees to be on time, then make sure to prefix "Sharp”. And when your typical Hyderabadi friend or cousin says, he will be at your place in 10 minutes, and then it means, easily after 2 or 3 hours or sometimes will never arrive. But now, mobile phones are a boon, at least we can call and confirm 'KIDAR HAI RE' (where are you?).

To speak in the Hyderabadi Deccani dialect is a delight. If you find that the auto driver is trying to swindle you, just say“KY KU BHAI NAYE DHIKRE KYA” (Why brother, do I look new to this town?) or “HAWLE SAMAJHRE KYA” (You think I am crazy). He will know you were born and brought up here. I always find this particular anecdote very funny. We arrived from Bangalore early in the morning at the Kachiguda Railway Station, Hyderabad and were flocked by a few auto drivers. One of them demanded for RS. 250/- to drop us home, where as it generally costs RS.85/- only, and my husband promptly replied “HAME AUTO NAHE KHAREDNA BHAI” (We don’t want to buy your auto). I just couldn't control my laughter. That poor guy received an early morning jolt and walked away from us. If you are shopping at Sultan Bazaar, General Bazaar or Charminar, ask the street vendor "KYSA DERE" (For how much will you give?)Or "KITNE KO" (For how much?) and then bargain hard KAM KARO JI (Reduce the price) and if the vendor does not agree, then say "NOKKO" (Don't want) and walk away. There is every possibility, he or she will call you back and you get the best deal.
What embarrasses me as a Hyderabadi? It is the most common sight in Hyderabad; the open air peeing by our Hyderabadi men folk. It is a great relief that the MCH (Municipal Corporation of Hyderabad) took the initiative of setting up 700 public toilets in Hyderabad and Secunderabad, to commemorate the birth anniversary of our "Father of the Nation - Gandhiji" on October 2, 2006.



Second to none are our Hyderabadi Spitters. You will find PAAN (BETEL LEAF) stains (red coloured betel, tobacco & saliva chew) everywhere, on the walls, vehicles, roads, sometimes on our clothes too. You will find everybody and anybody spitting. The famous spitting zone is the corners near the stairs at any Government or private buildings. This, of course is not exclusive to Hyderabad, but is prevalent in other parts of India. But as a Hyderabadi, I speak for Hyderabad only.

To prevent or rather save the walls, people of Hyderabad are taking the help of Gods. The possible target areas are adorned with tiles of different Gods. So when you climb the stairs of some buildings in Hyderabad, you will find Lord Ganesha smiling at you, Lord Shiva in meditation, Sai Baba blessing, Lakshmi Devi showering gold coins, etc.

I am wondering, now that we have Gods on our side, can we beat the Hyderabadi Spitters?