Friday, October 2, 2009

Remembering Mom...

I miss you mom. I miss my daily telephonic conversations with you. I miss your ever cheerful voice. I miss your encouraging words. I miss your hugs. I miss your criticism. I miss your physical presence. I miss your prayers for our well being... But you are alive in my memories, heart and mind. A year has gone, but it seems yesterday I bid you farewell! I love you mom.

Having lost my dad very early taught me my first lesson in interpersonal communication. As a kid, I was in awe of my dad. Though we were close, I still maintained a distance, spoke little out of respect and sometimes out of fear. We were taught to speak carefully to elders, no back answers, no tantrums, etc. In the process, there were some positive aspects, like my creative side, my feelings for him, my thoughts that went unsaid. I still regret having not shared my feelings with dad.

Since then, I have given a lot of importance to sharing my positive thoughts , experiences and feelings with family, relatives and friends. I value communication, networking and connecting which I think, makes us more human.

As a Psychologist and Counsellor, I have encountered kids who find it frustrating having parents who are uncommunicative and overly occupied with their work life; kids who actually have no clue of their parent's work profile. One instance I remember vividly , the frustrating face of a student who went to attend the visa interview at the US Consulate and was rejected visa as he stood dumb, when asked about his dad's work profile. It was because he had no clue about what his dad actually did at the work place. And the student felt remorseful and angry about his dad for being aloof and non communicative.

There are instances where kids complain of parents who hardly spend any time with them, in the name of heavy work load and often are subject to the standard speech, "I am doing all this for you, your comfort etc". Most of the kids loathe it. Some kids find it convenient having a parent, specifically dad, away from home as long as their materialistic needs are fulfilled. They don't want to be policed. It is really a sad situation.

I am glad, my dad exposed me to his work environment. He was a mining engineer at Hutti Gold Mines in Karnataka State. He always encouraged learning. I spent fourteen years at this small and cozy place, since my birth. Hutti and my childhood memories of the place, have a special significance in my life. Those wonderful memories and people have resurfaced in recent times. I credit the Internet and social media networking sites for this.

I am an avid blogger and active on Facebook. My write-up about my mom on this blog, surprisingly, had friends who knew my parents and were not in touch for years, messaging me here and conveying wonderful things about them, which I did not know or instances that had just faded away from my memory. It is indeed a feel good factor!

Facebook has got me in touch with my childhood friends and people from our Hutti days. The old photographs posted on Facebook, transports you back to those golden days. Again, these are people who knew my parents and remembered such minute details about them. One of them described how pretty my mom looked when she first arrived in Hutti as a bride and also the colour of saree she wore for the wedding reception at the Hutti officers' Club. This event took place in 1969, 40 years ago! These are emotional and mind blowing moments for me. I feel blessed for having such wonderful parents. They were karmayogis in the true sense. They lived short but meaningful lives.

Don't shy away from sharing your feelings, experiences, achievements, concerns and thoughts from your loved ones. Let's share good things about our lives and keep in touch!



7 comments:

Kaustubh said...

Nicely written article, Tai - arranging your photographs the way you did was brilliant. As I was scrolling down to read, I was pleasantly surprised to see uncle's photo; it made me feel your article was bounded by the two.

While it is not the case that I take my parents and other loved ones for granted (hopefully), the extent to which others may lack communication with their parents was a surprise. It simply reinforces my feeling of being fortunate to have what I have.

Thanks for the article!

Anonymous said...

MANJU non can forget their mums as long as we leave. even as her friends you see we have not forgotten her. . we too remember her with great love and affection if you do not get mails from us does not mean that we do not remember you people/. treat your daughter as she treated and raised you then you will be giving back to her.something. now i am staying with shyla next june 2010i will come back. doda dodda padagalanna use maadi bareyalu barralla.
-ramaaunty.

anita said...

Hi

I am anita,am from Hutti Gold Mines,read that you also hail from that place.I live in Hyd.write to me anitamahadas@gmail.com

praneshachar said...

so fast one year gone yes it was indeed time flies. I lost my mother just 3 weeks back ofcourse she lived her full life and had a peaceful end at the age of 90. Having lost father a decade back now lost the another link. life is like that. I know in your case you lost your father at very young age and mother last year.
Both of them are great souls and karmayogis as you have written. may their soul join in peace in the eternal world
Photos brought back memories of my visits to Hutti and also to your house.

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