Thursday, December 19, 2013

Is Happiness Elusive ...or we just fail to find it!

hap-ee-nis: bliss, contentedness, delight, joy, pleasure, satisfaction...

The state of joy, getting hold of a new comic book, delight seeing a new pencil, ecstasy munching a candy, satisfaction playing with a friend, contentedness getting a new dress for festival and the sheer pleasure of mom’s home cooked food.  I am at times left distraught wondering, where did I lose those little but precious moments of genuine inner peace.

Lost maybe, in the growing up process; some pleasant and unpleasant circumstances; the daily grind, losing our loved ones, health issues, relationships taking a beating, so on and so forth.

Is it so difficult to smile and laugh? At times, if you notice closely, we even forget to breathe properly; such is the hurry, rush and preoccupation in our lives. The many roles that we don and the balancing acts we put up add to and take its toll on our fragile minds and souls.

I understand that all of us are not born with sunny dispositions. As we grow, we learn that happiness is a state of being, which is commonly construed and attributed to our experiences with our environment – people, places, things...

I personally at times feel that being nice, good and positive can be tiring and that one loud outburst displaying negative emotions, like yelling, cursing, use of abusive words can give some temporary power and excitement to the mundane, but most of the time causes exhaustion to the self, more than to the target audience.

I believe, once in a while such outbursts are healthy, but if the frequency continues then surely things are not conducive to the self and to others in your life.

Every bit of emotions we experience, like joy, excitement, stress, anxiety, sadness, anger, pain, are integral moments. We as humans are capable of learning and un-learning from them, by means of introspection and intent. It’s not easy for sure but nonetheless, trying helps!

Total bliss, the ascetic way is far fetched! Down the lane, I have learnt to love my pain and it helps me enhance my thinking, creativity, empathy and determination to face challenges. But I also love my moments of peace and cheer.

So in pursuit of some happiness, I am working on a few aspects (tried, tested and shared by many, for sure) and hope to achieve, that something, to soothe my soul and mind.  It’s hard, very hard!

  • Stop anticipating negative moments and reactions – It’s damaging to you and you alone.
  • Stop worrying, because most of it does not happen – Even if something happens, damn it, you are capable of catching it by its neck and throwing it away.
  • Stop getting caught in needless drama that happens around – People like to pull you into it to entertain them.
  • Stop heeding too much to other’s unrealistic and demanding expectations of you – Learn to say NO; there is no end to what others want of you.
  • Stop caring too much about what others think of you – Remember, you are a champ.
  • Stop neglecting health issues – Health is indeed the first and foremost wealth.
  • Stop reliving the anger caused by situations and people – Grudge will weaken your soul. If still it refuses to leave your mind, then use it towards some positive, constructive and productive means for you. (Read somewhere: Holding a grudge is letting someone live rent free in your head)
  • Stop being scared or sceptical about taking up new assignments – There is always a way when there is will.
  • Stop taking crap from people- Make peace with yourself.

  • Give whatever assistance you can to people less fortunate than you – Experience the joy of unconditional giving.
  • Give support to social causes – It’s always blessed to give than to receive.
  • Give a thought to pursuing a hobby – It’s fun and soothing.
  • Give praise, appreciation and acknowledgement to that deserving friend, neighbour, relative, colleague, acquaintance, your own kids, spouse, siblings and parents, for a good deed or work – Feel the power of giving.
  • Give that friendly big smile, nod, and a wave to all the people you come in touch with daily; the road side vendor, maid, watchman, driver, milk man, paper boy, office peon – See the magic of acknowledging a fellow human being.
  • Give some time connecting and networking with friends and develop contacts – It can be enriching.
  • Give a thought to your blessings and make gratitude an attitude – Explore the power of prayers.

I am in the “Give” mode which helps me maintain my mental equilibrium, but need to work seriously on the “Stop” aspects to enhance the quality of peaceful living. It’s a long list; just needs that nudge of  conscious effort, exercise and implementation.


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